O.K., so here’s the deal…I met Mistress Gwen at the hotel, and we had numerous bondage video shoot ideas we were working on.  Getting off on our floor, Mistress stops and takes a good, hard look at the decorative table set up just outside the elevators.  It was obvious that she had something in mind, when she lifted the marble top and pressed on it to see how sturdy it was.  We got to the room, and she announced to me that we would be going out to shoot a scene at 3:00 AM, when no one would be around.

At 2:30 Ms. Gwen wakes me to get dressed for the shoot.  She took her time carefully tying ropes around my wrists arms and body…everything but my feet.  Then she wrote up a sign saying “Free Slut”.  She led me out on a leash to the elevator and guided me onto the table, where she finished the hog-tie by tying the ropes around my ankles.

She strategically placed the small handheld camera we had with us on a tripod.  Then she ran down a flight of stairs so she could come up the elevator and discover the “present” that had been left for her.  Earlier in the day she had timed the run downstairs and up the elevator.  It would take about 40 seconds.

From my totally incapacitated position I heard someone in the elevator, but it was too soon for it to be Ms. Gwen.  Hopefully they were not stopping on this floor!  There was no way for me to sneak off and hide.  Suddenly, the doors open and there stands a man with a luggage cart full of newspapers, which he is obviously delivering to the rooms.

Stepping off the elevator, he wheels his cart right in front of the video camera, pauses for a quick “hello”, and goes about his business as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

Seconds later, Mistress Gwen appears.  Noticing the cart, and unable to find out from me what was happening, she quickly set about untying my feet, then grabbed the sign off the mirror.  Scooping up the camera and tripod as she passed, she proceeded to lead me, still tied, down the hall toward our room.

Passing the newspaper man in the hallway she exclaims; “Timing is everything”.  His response….”Looks like a good time!”…Then everyone continued on their way.

A wild (blooperish) scene that will definately be remembered for years to come!!  Watch the video:

A great weekend was had by all who attended the St. Pete Grand Prix. Even the teeth grinding references to “revving up for race weekend.” And; “roaring into town for the race,” performed on queue all week long by the local TV talking heads could not screw things up.  I did not get as up close and personal as I did last year, but had a great time anyway. Got to see the REAL lady racer, Simona De Silvestro put on a really great driving display while  Danica the Diva did her usual driving around the track, staying safely out of trouble. Simona is still a bit of a bull in a china shop on the track, especially on the road courses but my lord that lady can flat drive a racecar! Too bad that does not go as far as the almighty dollar does…see the above mentioned GoDaddy diva for further edification on that subject. Hopefully her new engineer has some good oval set-ups, that is where the real money is needed to compete properly. The start was a bit of amateur hour, a certain driver who I will not mention by name, only to say that he is a third generation racer from a very famous racing family, pulled a stunt at the start of the race that would have flunked him out of driver’s school. But once everything got settled down there was some good hard racing going on. Bottom line, looks like the Indy Cars should have a pretty nice season in front of them to “roar off into.” I couldn’t help it……..

One of the little irritants of modern internet life is the ubiquitous chain letter. You know what I mean, they tell some heart rending tale, some tear jerker about how little Billy, born with (insert some terrible birth defect here) then  overcomes  the loss of everyone in his family to an attack of rabid raccoons,  as well as the death of his pet goldfish, and is now being raised in a third world  slum.  Or more recently, something to the effect…”And so, its true, Barack Obama is a true alien, he is a space alien, he’s the true leader of the V’s. Michelle is really planting alien eggs in that White House garden, they are not who you think they are.” The punch line is, that besides the inevitable pitch for money, its always, “foreword this to at least ten people, and eternal prosperity and bliss shall be yours. In the case of the letter from the  right wingnuts, its usually something like, “if you do not send this letter on, when the rapture comes you will be the first one to be cast down into the pit, and all of the entries and drop-outs from ‘The Biggest Loser’ will land on top of you.”

And I always seize the moment. I most certainly do, you bet ya! See, THAT is when you hit the big Delete tab, not to mention the junk mail tab as well. What is with these people anyway?? Does anyone really believe this shit?? Are there folks among us so stupid that they actually think that something either good or bad will happen if one would either foreword or delete a piece of internet clogging nonsense?? And what about the fine print? The ifs, ands or buts: What if your internet connection craps out? What if your spam filter did the right thing and caught it , so you never saw it in the first place? What if your computer crashes just as you were going to either send it, ignore it, or were getting ready to delete it? Would the divine invisible friend dispensing fame and fortune or eternal hellfire  know what was going to happen? See..ya gotta  think this thru a bit…NOT!!!  There is nothing to think about here, just delete the damn thing! Screw em! Trust me, you will feel better for it, and be doing your part to free up a little more bandwidth for us all.

Ever notice how each disaster is a “once in a lifetime” event?  When  hurricane Andrew hit south Dade, all of my friends down there said;  “…….its a once in a lifetime event”.  When New Orleans got creamed by Katrina, it was ;”….this is a once in a lifetime event.”  The huge floods in the Midwest a couple of years ago were referred to constantly this way, as well as “the Flood of the century.” Naturally the monstrous actions by BP in the Gulf was also called not only  “a once in a lifetime event.” But also “an act of God”. Right, sure pal.  If God happens to be the greedy, amoral head of a rapacious, arrogant conglomerate feeding a national addiction to its product, I’ll buy that one. Now the same talking heads are gurgling the same platitudes about the terrible series of events in Japan. And something tells me that they are going to be so very wrong.

First off, as with all of these events, they were all foreseen…to a point. For years experts, yes, real experts, you know scientists, real ones, not fake ones that say what oil companies, city planners, etc want them to say, said that huge hurricanes would hit both New Orleans and South Florida. Naturally, nothing was done. Every model for global warming pointed to massive “once in a lifetime” floods in the heartland. Of course, nothing was ever done.  Its all an evil UN plot, don’t ya know? And anyone who has ever gambled, not to mention anyone with a brain could figure out that as greater and greater numbers of oil wells were put into deep water, it was only a matter of time before a major accident would occur…even if God never took his eyes off the things… he can’t watch all the oil wells all the time, right? Guess events proved that one.

And far across the ocean, in Japan, they planned for the earthquake, they knew that was coming, and unlike us, they did do something to mitigate the inevitable.  Buildings withstood the earthquake, but folded under the billions of tons of water moments later. That led to the Nuclear disaster that is still unfolding at the Fukushima power plant. I’m not going to go into all of the details of the Japanese disaster, all that is necessary to say is, that sometime or another, we are going to get nailed with every single piece of the trident from hell. The  “once in a lifetime earthquake”. The “once in a lifetime tsunami”. And  the “once in a lifetime nuclear disaster.” And possibly not all at the same time, no reason to think that.  But the West Coast of the United States is going to be wiped out when the Cascadia Subduction zone ruptures with what will most likely be a 8.9-9.0 quake.  Besides the destruction such an event will generate on land,  it will also trigger a Tsunami of biblical proportions. A wave 30+ feet high will slam into the coast from British Columbia to San Francisco. The area that I lived in for a few years not too very long ago will be completely destroyed and  likely most of the new friends that I came to know there will be dead or missing. Don’t believe me? Think “that crazy  slutty girl is at it again?”   Google “the Orphan Tsunami of 1700”, buy the book, I did  . And  “Cascadia subduction zone”.  I guess this is as good a time as any to mention that our Republican friends  have slashed  funding for Tsunami preparation.  Are those guys a barrel of laughs or what??  And as the weeks of CNN coverage would roll on, we’ll see the destroyed City of Seattle where almost no buildings have been build to withstand even a moderate quake, much less the monster who’s epicenter will be just off of Vancouver island. We’ll get to know  the vanished  postcard towns of Cannon Beach, Astoria, Seaside, Grays Harbor, Ocean Park, Long Beach, Ocean Beach, Manzanita, Warrenton, Tillamook, etc.  they will be burned into the national consciences.  And we will hear  the mantra “..this has been a once in a lifetime event.” Yes that is true, they are once in a lifetime events. That have been accurately predicted. Who’s effects could be lessened with a little bit of planning and forethought . But they never are….here anyway. Apparently we believe that the tooth fairy will save us and how’s that worked out so far?

And then there is that little matter of the Nuclear disaster that will happen at some future time. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a electrical denier, we need Nuclear power…and  we need oil wells in the Gulf for that matter. You ask why? Well, due to a complete lack of national  energy policy, coupled with constantly voting for those who promise cookies and ice cream and not  having to eat your veggies, we never made the  commitments to solar or wind, so unless you want to throw away your computers and TV’s, man up and admit the obvious. Until we grow a set of collective balls, that is the reality of it all. The thing is,  the nuclear industry  like the oil companies,  have  taken over the agencies that are supposed to regulate them. Safety records have been falsified, reports faked, same shit as what the oil companies were pulling with the Minerals Management Service  that was supposed to regulate them. So when the disaster happens, one of our aging plants springs a leak because of some ancient corroded part that fails, and the safety systems fail because they have not been inspected or maintained right for 30 years, and all hell breaks loose, the whole sorry story will come out. Just like the BP fiasco. Its bad, very bad, do the research and see for yourself.  And of course the inevitable ;“It’s a once in a lifetime event, who could have predicted this?”   As I said, we need nuclear power, that does not mean it can’t be safe…or…safER.

Well here we go again. Another war in the mideast sandbox. Gadaffi has been sort of well behaved lately so  Fox News is really going to have to work overtime to get the populous to hate Libyans, they are working as hard as they can. Wonder if we ever go to war against, say, Canada, how long it would take for enough of the sheep to start hating Canadians to thereby  justify whatever we would want to do to them? Its scary the way we seem to be able to hate on command. Here is one great way to tell if a country/government is in favor or not with the powers that be. Ever noticed how, when we LIKE a  particular government, its called a ‘Government’? But when they are on our shit list, then it’s a “regime”. I’ll bet that if one dug deep enough they could find plenty of references to the Iraq government…and then during the run up, it magically morphed into the Iraq ‘regime’. The leader of the Republican party, Rush Limbaugh, constantly refers to the Obama ‘regime’, but being a loud, over-paid windbag,  that’s another story.

So off to war we go again. Oh I know, its temporary, no troops, out in week, yadda, yadda. Heard it all before. And ever noticed how the countries we seem to be intervening in all happen to have oil? Isn’t that strange? What are the odds of that, right? Yes I know its cloaked in the fig leaf of  NATO, and its ostensibly to prevent genocide and all that. I can make that argument too. But its all based on quicksand. Because this is one thing that the constitution is very clear on, the founding fathers were very specific as to what it took to take the country to war, and who would authorize  that. Only Congress has the power to do that. Not the UN. Not NATO. Not the Arab League.  While he lied to do it, George Bush did get congressional approval for the Iraq war, yes it was stretched, etc., but the thing started with Congress voting for it. Yes I know that took years to get that, and yes I know  that in Libya 2 more days and the whole thing would have been over, but  that does not change the constitutional facts of the matter. I like the guy, but I really think that Obama violated the war powers act big time with this. The only thing that is going to save him is killing Arabs is one big thing that gets the neo cons hopping up and down and  crapping in their cages. You won’t hear much about how they all are for the Constitution over the next few weeks, that’s for sure.  Hence  the criticism will somewhat muted. It will be there though, simply because they all hate him so very much that they cannot bring themselves to say anything that might be construed as the remotest hint of approval. While one expects that from boss Limbaugh and  tea party zombies out in internet land, a case could be made for Congress to  rally around the commander in chief right or wrong.   Isn’t that what the Republicans were always  hollering during the Bush 2 regime? Of course they won’t be doing that.  Because  they are  terrified that if they were to do that, the  cretins known as the party base will rally to defeat them in the next primary.  Is this a great government we voted in or what? And progressives everywhere  are calling for his head for taking us to war yet again. I think Maureen Dowd was right in her Sunday column,  Obama  was henpecked into this by Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice , Samantha Power, and Gayle Smith. You already hear the cries of “we’ve got to train the rebels, arm them,” and wait until we find out we have just shoved a huge cache of weapons up Al Qaeda’s ass. Gaddafi’s not going anywhere, how long is all of this going to take? And does anyone think anything remotely resembling a stable government is going to come out of this latest African adventure of ours? Another fucking mess. I have no idea what is going to bring this reach for empire crashing into the dustbin of history, which is historically where such morally bankrupt ventures always end up, but it won’t be pretty, never is. There is a heapin’ helpin’ of hurt and misery coming down the line, that’s for sure.

Good thing we can laugh or we would all go insane…to paraphrase Jimmy Buffet. Not to mention yell and holler at times. I plan on doing a lot of that at the Iron Maiden concert cumming up here  on the 17^th of April.  WHOOHOO, I cannot wait! That reminds me, shit, I have not gotten my tour shirt yet! Can’t go to the concert without that on! Let me go find something  nice and slutty….cu guys later:)

The other day I was trying to do one of my sporadic clean-ups. Actually I’m still unboxing from the move of nearly two years ago, but doing a clean-up sound so much more….sanitary. Its cool going through the old photo’s and photo albums. The ones that are really neat are the candid shots, the ones that are not posed, the “got ya” pics. Some are good, some are bad, some of the pics are 30+ years old. We look through the old pictures we took, and we know that’s the way they were taken, they reflect the way we were, the way it was. Untouched, unaltered, real and honest. And that’s yet another piece of our life and culture that is slipping away, another casualty of our headlong rush to who the hell knows where.

That Microsoft Cloud commercial comes to mind here.  The one where the wife gets frustrated about  her uncooperative  family and Photoshop’s them to perfection.  Of course, the picture is then a complete fake. Every detail is suspect.  As a side bite here, one of the reasons the potential picture is screwed up is that one of the kids is texting furiously, hence mommy sees the need to fake the kid’s pic for posterity.   So like a pill popping druggie who takes a pill to get high and another one to come down from the high, one electronic gadget is used to counter the effects of another one. Unbelievable. Are we really that addicted to all of this electronic crap? In 10 years time what will a picture even mean? I can see black sheep of the family being photo shopped out of the family pictures.  Or more kids/the new wife/hubby being inserted, who knows where this is all going?  The scary part is, to someone being born today, how are they going to look at a family photo 20 years from now? Will they look at it the same way I look at a picture taken 20 years ago? I think not.  And I’m not sure if that’s going to be a bad thing  or a good thing, come to think of it. Its certainly beyond my pay grade, that’s for sure.

I may not be the Nostradamus of  future photo psychology but I do know this: Get ready to see the gold bubble pop. First off, the television gold hucksters, the most prominent one being a convicted felon named G Gordon Liddy, are the primary gold advertisers on the daily  hour long insane rants of Glenn Beck. All reputable companies have fled from this far right, mentally ill loon’s show that spreads paranoia and hate to the drooling flock, so that should tell anyone with a brain something right there.

See, the first warning bell should be the obvious, when every Tom, Dick, and Harry is talking about  buying something, or “getting into” something because it’s a “great investment”….shouldn’t that set off some warning bells?? Anyone remember the…..”You’ve got to get into this real estate market right now, its such a great investment.” That was  back in that  bygone year of 2007. HELLO!!! Or how about….” You have GOT to get into this dot.com stock right now, this is a GREAT opportunity.” Waaaay back in that ancient history of 2000. HELLO!!! Ok, pull up a chair, gather around boys and girls and let yer favorite pontificating slut tell ya why you need to be very, very nervous about the “great investment” of today’s  gold market.

First off I have some personal experience with the previous gold bubble that I would like to share with you. Sometime around 1976, I did one of my extremely rare (for those times) responsible, adult-like thing and made a speculative investment. I was a young  crazy kinky chick, living rent free, and the money was just pouring in. Read my autobiography for more infoJ Anyway…..coinciding with a more than usual flush moment, I happened to notice that the price of gold had gone  up in just a couple of days from 161 dollars an ounce to 182. I called a lawyer friend of mine and asked him how I could go about buying some gold. He told me about Kugerrands, where to buy them…and then tried very hard to talk me out it, telling me the price was way too high. I did not listen to him….what else is new…and proceeded to buy 10  of those 1oz gold coins for around $182 dollars a piece, figuring I would do something adult before I pissed the money away on….well….never mind what.  I held them for a couple of years, and sometime in  1979 I think it was,  a little birdie told me to bail…and I remember that everyone and their brother was saying “BUY, BUY”….I dumped mine for $780 a pop. Of course, it was a speculative bubble, build on greed and fear; all bubbles are created on some combination of those, with a touch of ignorance throw in,  and it burst not long after I bailed. And its all happening again right before our eyes, and just like the last one, this  gold market bubble  will also pop.

Here is why, right now, Gold is a overpriced, bogus, bullshit market, that WILL bite the little guy on the ass, hard.  First off, no matter what the hucksters, survivalists, Glen Beck rug chewers, etc will tell you, gold is NOT money. It cannot buy a fucking thing. It is not a medium of exchange anywhere in the world.  If you don’t believe me, try going down to the power company and shaving some off of your brick to pay your electric bill. Or go fill the tank of old Betsy and see what happens if you try it. One may be able to buy something with gold, but the value will be skewed..and it will not be in your favor.  “But…but…but…Angie…what happens  after the  Apocalypse and we have to share the world with the mutant Zombie hoards being led by a shrieking witch from Alaska?” Glad you asked, what do you think your gold bricks will be worth then? NOTHING, that’s what. They will make nice clubs and ballast, that’s about it. If that were to happen…and that is a big, big IF….IF, civilization crumbles for whatever unforeseen reason(s), the currency of choice will be gasoline, guns, ammunition, medical items(especially penicillin and pain killers), food, alcohol, drugs and whores, roughly in that order. Seriously.  Forget the gold nonsense, that aint going to be happening then. Gold is  too heavy to carry……and too hard for pillows.  The stuff will be sitting around in heaps.  Gold for the apocalypse ??? Give me a break!!! For what???

See, that’s the thing. Gold does not have a lot of practically, its uses are limited. It does have use as jewelry. And it is used in electronic manufacturing, there is some in the computer you are using. But…there is far more out of the ground than the actual market can absorb and use. That is another problem with Gold, if you think about it, more and more is being created. By that I mean dug out of the ground, put out into circulation. And when there is more and more of something, that virtually ensures that when the price comes down…and it will…then the price is going to stay depressed for a long time because the object of the speculation was overproduced to satisfy demand….see the housing market for further on this subject.

Gold makes no money. It does not work for you. It does not bear interest, nor does it pay dividends. For example, you can buy house, and you can rent it out for income. No matter what happens to the real estate market, it can go up or down,  you can still get money out of that house, i.e. that investment. It works for you. There are other investments that also work for you. We’ll get to what you can do with my favorite investment in a moment. But gold does nothing, and there is nothing that you can do with it but sit on it and hope the market goes your way. So does that mean that you can’t make any money on gold? No, not at all, I did quite well. And there was a reason for that, I did NOT buy it with the idea that WW3 was coming, or  the Jesus Rapture, or the aforementioned end of the world as we know it, or any other wild-eyed line of end of the world shit  folks try to feed you when they want to sell you something.

So what is a good, smart investment? Personally I am partial to thing with engines that go fast. Take a particular model Ferrari. Like, say  the  mid 80’s to  early 90’s Testarossa….I was a HUGE Miami Vice fan!  You know exactly how many were made and there are not going to be any new ones made. Hence the supply is known and fixed.  And when you buy this gorgeous machine, You can then take it out and drive the hell out of it, enjoy it, and if you take care of it, it will make you money when you sell it. They always have, and they always will. And that goes for many, many assorted makes and models. I keep a close eye on the car market, and the collector car market held its own pretty well thru the recession. There are good deals out there yet, look for a car that you happen to like…and that right now no-one else does. That’s the key, buy when no-one else is, then when everyone is buying like crazy and the price is climbing and climbing….and this part is gut feeling, there is a certain moment to bail. But with cars…what I say is….just drive the thing and let your estate make the big bucks! BTW, you can substitute the word ‘motorcycle’ for ‘cars’, works just as well, same deal. Custom knives also seem to be good a good practical investment, especially if your knife maker is fairly well known and up and dies. And remember, when the zombie apocalypse comes, you can use the car to get out of town, and the knife to stab the fuckers. When buying a collectable,  I always think in the back of my mind “can I use this for some good purpose?” Works for me.

Made it over to Volusia county Speedway a few weeks ago for the World of Outlaws opening event. Suddenly it was 1978 again with Steve Kinser winning  the feature the first two nights, and finishing second the final night.  The greatest Sprint car driver in history who has been 56 for at least four years now can still get the job done. Way too cool!!! And in keeping with the 70’s theme for Speedweeks, seeing the famed colors of the #21 of the Wood Brothers back in victory lane at the Daytona 500 was also a great way to being the  Sprint cup season.

On the subject of the Recession, you know the one all the talking heads say had ended. Very interesting read right here http://yhoo.it/eyXqh4 . It shows the same thing anyone in the real world knows.  Of course, the lords and masters in Congress not to mention the talking heads on the tube do not live in the real world, and besides, they all have good jobs, don’t they? Out here in the REAL world, yes,  jobs are coming back…those nice, high quality, part time burger flipping jobs at McDonalds. And don’t ya just love all the job creation going on in Washington. Yeah, all those tea party genius are really working on knocking down the unemployment, I’m trying to figure out how their obsession with enriching health insurance companies and demonizing Muslims  is doing that. And in this state the felon that got away and conned enough morons  to vote for him  to get himself elected governor of Florida could have done some good right off the bat. He could have given Florida workers thousands and thousands of good paying hi-skilled jobs for years to come and at the same time drop-kicked Florida into the 21th century with the rest of the civilized world at the same time. He could have put the people of this state to work, and shown forward thinking vision. But if he had done all of that, then he certainly would not be the greedy far right Republican loon that he is  who hates the middle class…they take all of the money that should be going to the top 1%, ya know. So Rick Scott did everything in his power to kill the high speed rail, making sure that those same workers, instead of having decent real jobs will now be flipping burgers and cleaning toilets in the fast food grease pits owned by his greedy, under taxed, privileged Republican elite. And of course we have Wisconsin, we all know what is happening there. Don’t whine and cry people, many of you voted these amoral trolls in. Voting is something that we all should not take lightly…the Rick Scott’s  and  Scott Walkers of the world know that a large chunk of their votes will come from those who simply will yank the handle because they are Republicans. Hey,  if you are worth millions and are a greedy, self centered sort, then  you had better vote for you pals. But if you work hard for a living and to raise your family and think that those among us who are less fortunate deserve a bit of a break, then you had better look long and hard when someone had an “R” besides their names next time. And just remember…..Scott Walker never said at any time during the campaign that;  “…..and if I am elected I will destroy the rights of teachers, police and firefighters….and that’s only the beginning.”

Gotta run, websites to build, videos to shoot, who knows what else.  TTYL.

I have a confession to make.  They tell me it’s the important first step.  I am an addict.  Oh I know, you never think it can happen to you!  It starts so innocently, first just a taste, then another.  Then your consumption rises, you find that you need it more and more, you make sure you are stocked up, the mere thought of running out fills you with dread. Before you know what has hit you, its all over!  You want to break the cycle, you think of the 12 step deal..I’ve done the first one, but  that means that there are 11 to go.  They won’t make me quit, will they??  That could not possibly be step 2, could it???  What  a  horrible thought!!  By the way, I’m talking of course, about those devilish little Ice Breaker mints, the ones in the check out line of all the grocery and drug stores.  What the fuck is in these things, have they finally figured out to market crack to us??   My ‘drug of choice’ happens to be the Wintergreen ones in the green box…now exactly what did YOU think I was talking about??   Never mind, I don’t want to know….

Not too long ago, with the usual breathless hyperventilating from the talking heads, dancing elephants, fireworks,  100 gazillion emails, and constant media coverage of folks with more time than brains camping out in front of assorted stores, an electronics company came out with a new telephone.  That’s all it is, I hate to break the news to you… especially if you missed the birth of your son, or death of your mother if you happened to be living in front of the local Best Buy waiting for those golden doors to open.  And no, I’m not being my usual flippant  self.  Do you think that 3 years from now, in the grand scheme of  the breakneck speed of this technology the latest  electronic bauble from Apple  will be looked at as anything but this?  Exactly!

The other part of this equation is just as predictable, as those who paid the absolute highest price this gadget will EVER sell for also encountered was…it does not work.  OK, it “works”, just not the way it worked when the geeks tested it out in the Ivory Tower emblazoned with “Apple Technologies”.  Not to mention its  $500, ok, $499 price tag. And the days lost waiting in line, fucking with the thing to get it to work at all, the learning curve, etc.  Why???  In the world of electronics, being king of the mountain, either as the  manufacturer or  the consumer is about as meaningful as being the first lemming over the cliff, the glory is fleeting at best.  Me?  I’ll wait until 1- the bugs are out of it, 2- all the bells and whistles are added, and 3-its below $99..or at that.  You know, a few weeks from now.

Well, on day whatever the fuck day it was, BP capped its never should have been drilled in the firs place well.  Of course, it’s leaking, hey, what do you want from a company who bragged about all the profits it makes, all the politicians it buys, all the inspection reports it filled out itself and then had their Bush appointed government lackeys sign off on?  I can hear it now….”…And BP, your doing a hell of a job”.  Probably from the dufus  Governor of Miss, who up until recently was squealing and bleating, “ain’t no oil here on these beaches, no-sirr-ree Bob.” And this gem:  “It ain’t no worse than a slick at a marina.”  This is a Gulf state Governor, for fucks sake!!!  OK, he’s a Republican but so what???  Can you  believe this elected official is saying shit like that??  You do know, of course, that not one penny of that 20 billion has been committed, right?  I keep waiting to hear something, ANYTHING, any sort of a sign, a damn HINT, that there is the slightest bit of collective will to actually, finally, MAYBE grow a tiny bit of national spine, bite some sort of shared bullet, and reduce our dependence on not just foreign oil, but oil use in general.  Look, I’m not an idiot, and most folks aren’t either.  We know that this is a petroleum based world, we know that, we get it.  And that a replacement for all the plastics, carbon fiber, all the countless things that our modern society needs is not on the horizon.  That’s even MORE reason to stop pissing it all away by burning it up!!!  And Ethanol is not the answer, Indy car guys I love you but we can’t grow our fuel, that’s why the price of corn has gone thru the roof.

Christ, this is not rocket science!  We really don’t have to invent a whole hell of a lot, go here:  http://www.excellatron.com and here http://www.johnsonems.com Google Lonnie Johnson, BTW, he’s a black man. Ponder that, tea baggers/birthers, and he just may have the answer to our energy problems.  When I saw him on CNN he mentioned that he could finish his battery project for less that 5 million dollars. That’s probably about what we spend on toilet paper for our puppet stooge Afghan presidential palace’s toilets a year.  Of course, we will need to build a power grid for the crash building program for the wind farms and solar cells we can build.  Talk about a jobs program, THIS is what the country needs!!  And… this needs to be nationalized, sorry, Energy is too important to be left to ‘free markets’, see Enron, BP, etc. for further clarification.  Regardless, this can be done…but we need the will to do it.  I’m not holding my breath, why do I think that our national energy “policy” (LOL) will continue to be a combination of “lets drill, lets invade, and lets not regulate the poor oil companies too much?”

In the ‘you can’t make this shit up’ department, I bring you a 38 year old guy from Malta, Idaho…and I LOVE saying “I-da_ho”, who got two citations for keeping 25 rattlesnakes in a 5 gal. bucket in his apartment.   Sort of like parking tickets then, right?  He got cited for parking rattlesnakes in his apartment.  See, I think like, “what if I get up in the middle of the night, still completely shitfaced stumble to the kitchen……and you know what happens next, right?  “Oh FUCK, I forgot I left it there!!!!”  Then…you only find….19…or….21….or in my case it would be…”now, how many DID I put in there???” Actually, no, it would not be, because as fucking nuts as I can be, who the hell can be that crazy, right? It turns out that he did have 32, but he gave some away, and he ate two of them.  Now that’s one way to keep the old food bill down, isn’t it?  And ya’ gotta wonder, he told the cops that he gave some away…wonder what the occasion was?  The best bud’s birthday gift?  I know, Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary …it’s the thought that counts that’s what they say!  Maybe to his favorite stripper in the local strip club, in lieu of a dollar for a dance well done?  Wait, I know, he brought one to a potluck…OK, I’ll stop now.  Notice that any reference to a wife has been left out here, you just  know this is a single guy.   So ladies, the next time your significant other drags whatever home with him, just remember, whatever the hell it is, what its NOT is a bucket of rattlesnakes being plopped down in the middle of your living room, yes, it could be worse, so quit yer bitchin’!

King of the Outlaws

Well, it’s the middle of summer, its hot, and its getting hotter.  The racing season is in full swing, the WOO (that’s World of Outlaws) teams are crisscrossing the country, racing hard, banging wheels, crashing,  thrilling crowds across the land.   The ‘month of money’ has begun…and…like birds flying south for the winter, leaves falling off the trees in Oct…this means that around this time, the big dog starts to stir.  Maybe not quite as intense as in years past, after all, when you were 58 three years ago, and are 56 this year, no matter how you cut it, its harder than it used to be when you whipped ‘em all for decades on end.  But…the facts are…that  the ‘King of the Outlaws’, the greatest dirt racer and sprint car chauffeur of all time, Steve Kinser just won the Kings Royal.  Again, for the 7th time!!  He is sitting 2nd in points, and all in all is having a great year.  It’s all leading up to the one event that everyone has on their mind, if you are into this great sport, that is.   We just call it “the Nationals”, and this year, finally, I’m getting back to the big show, the 50th Knoxville Nationals…WHHOOOHOOO!!  Finally, a real vacation, (and running cross country in moving trucks is not a vacation, trust me on this!)  Dirt in the eyes night after night, eating buffalo burgers during the day, getting hammered at the Dingus Lounge,  seeing cars from every corner of the country, and drivers from Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, Australia who knows where else.  Bonuses of the 360 nationals and a USAC non winged show thrown in for good measure, and all in the middle of the heartland, middle of nowhere actually!  I cannot wait!!   And if Kinser can pull this off,  if the big dog has one more of these in the tank…there are no words for it, that’s for sure…Just qualifying is a big deal.  One year a guy towed down from Alaska….came all the way from Alaska to turn his arms into kindling wood just trying to qualify for this race.  Yes, it’s a real big deal, and it’s special, for sure.

I might get another column up before we take off, we shall c.  If I don’t, enjoy summer, stay safe, and I will talk to you soon… Bye for now, Angie

The other day I was driving down a main drag of my particular slice of the urban Florida landscape when lo and behold, I spotted…. a clown! Not just any clown, this was a dancing clown, he was prancing and dancing around, and holding a sign that said “come into Buster’s used cars, you’ll be happy you did”. Ok, the name was not Buster’s, to be honest with you I don’t remember the name of the joint. What I did remember was, that it was the middle of the day and  heat waves were shimmering off the asphalt that this poor guy had to dance around on. But he was not the only spectacle to be out this particular Sat afternoon.  There was the statue of liberty, courtesy  of Liberty taxes, a truly hideous piss yellow chicken, a dancing bear waving constantly, and a guy gussied up to be an Italian chef. This particular guy was truly being tortured, he was crouched down, knees bent, legs wide apart, holding a fairly large  sign for a local pizza joint with a large red arrow on it, and was constantly swinging the arrow towards the place. There were others, there must have been a dozen or more human billboards, all of them dressed in absurd garb that had to have been creating  130 degree inferno’s inside, eking out an existence. Obviously this is  a keep up with the Jones’ on this stretch of road business-wise. “Look at us, we are making enough money to hire our own pet”. Now having folks stand out in the street and make spectacles out of themselves is not a new thing, that’s for sure. But I’m noticing a subtle trend, the numbers of folks “employed” as  below minimum wage highway jesters is growing rapidly, as the “recovery” lurches along. But that’s not all. Where 5 years ago it was OK to stand out by the side of the road and just hold the sign, now these desperate folks are forced to perform tricks for the sick fucks that hire them in the first place. I can hear these guys now, “….and don’t let me catch you slacking one bit, we all have to do our part for the recovery.” Right bozo, and no, I’m not talking about the guy in the clown suit you are fucking. People who take advantage of the down and out of the world like what is going on right now should not even be in business! Why don’t they just hire someone for a real job? Or is  this an example of “compassionate conservatism?” It gets worse, I’m saving the best for last. There was this guy made up to look like Uncle Sam. And he was holding a sign, waving it actually that said…are you ready for this, sitting down, no heart condition…the sign said ” get your low interest FHA mortgage here”. Holy Shit! It’s come a full circle folks. Three years ago the guy holding the sign, probably had a real job…maybe a house. Now, thanks in no small part  to the fat cats of the mortgage industry this guy is now reduced to waving a sign for serf wages soliciting business for….that’s right people, the Mortgage Industry! Ya have to love the irony, it would be comical if it was not so heart-wrenching. Yet in some circles this, along with trading chickens for your heart surgery, crawling to a church when you are sick, this is what passes for capitalism in action. If this is true, than the deranged birthers are right, Armageddon is coming soon, we all need to arm our-selves to the teeth to protect ourselves from….the mutant birthers that will be crawling across the landscape.  Fuck it, I’m going on Ebay right now, where is a decent Tank  when you need one???

Corporate America never ceases  to amaze me. Remember about 6 months ago all of those adds that the soft drink companies were running? I’m talking about the ones with the concerned mother voice babbling “…now Congress wants to take away our children’s   choice and ban our teeth rotting, diabetes creating, chemical concoctions from school cafeteria’s across the land. Tell congress that you want your kid obese, with rotted teeth and full blown childhood diabetes,  etc and etc”. I think the sinister character of Anna on that cool new show  “V” was modeled after that voice.Well, congress actually somehow grew a spine and did pass some legislation restricting what can and can’t go into school cafeterias. So what do the new commercials say? Well, mother now says “…..And we have removed harmful soft drinks from the schools, and replaced them with healthy beverages.”  “After we fought tooth and nail against it.”  There is a Jewish word called “chutzpa”, and that describes the soft drink PR  guys to a T. I suppose we should count our blessings that they have not been putting arsenic in our soft drinks because it saves .0001 cents per can. They’re not, right?

I love professional Football, I really do. I’m sure most of you do as well. But don’t you get a little bit tired of the off-field shenanigans of their stars? Ben Roethlisberger is the latest case in point. Its pretty obvious that this guy has a problem when the alcohol in his system reacts with a hot chick strolling by. As in “lets rape the bitch, big guy.” In the world that most of the rest of us live in the Steelers would be quarterback hunting. Because Roethlisberger would be in the can, as well as banned for life from the NFL. That’s what Nascar does, you know. Get caught smoking pot, drugs in your system, you are banned for life. It’s not complicated at all, it’s very simple. That’s why Nascar’s people rarely screw up. But in the NFL?? LOL!! Look at how many guys are on their 15th “last chance”. Or their 20′th “second chance’.” Can you say “TO”? Or that thug Michal Vick? This is prevalent in both the NBA and the Major leagues of Baseball as well. Why are stick and ball jocks allowed to quite literally get away with murder (Ray Lewis), when the rest of us would be in Prison? The answer is simple, because they can. Great message these guys send to the kids, not to mention the rest of us. I remember some years ago when Michal Irvin whined “I am not a role model, I never signed on for that.” To which the great Darrell Waltrip addressed that weekend with “when you are a professional athlete, you ARE a role model, you do not have that choice, its who and what you are.” If there was one set of nuts in the rulers of the NFL, they would lay out a code of conduct that says something to the effect,”any action either on OR off  the field that is detrimental to the conduct or standards that a professional athlete should PERSONALLY  hold himself to shall result in a LIFETIME ban from the NFL.” Or the NBA. Or the New York Yankees. NASCAR has lived with this very well for over 50 years now, there is no reason that the rest of the sports world cannot learn from the France Family Dictatorship that runs professional stock car racing so very well.

Well, I wanted so much to go to 98Rockfest! Its this weekend at the St Pete Times Forum. Alice in Chains is such a cool band! Not to mention Limp Bizkit and all the rest.I still get loud and rowdy on occasion, and this was going to be one of those occasions. But, no rest for the weary, I am going to be partying doing what I do best…and you folks know what that is:)  And as always I procrastinated about buying tickets. Oh well, maybe I’ll have “Rooster”, “check my brain, “Man in a box” and all the rest blasting in the background, and  pretend its the old days on a Sun afternoon on Key Biscayne. Anyone remember the free concerts there? I think I do….lol! Take care everyone, bye for now.

Harry Truman famously would ask for a one armed economist, because they were always telling him “…but on the other hand.” I get that  same feeling at times, and I’m sure you do as well. Here are a couple of things that for me causes the  “……but on the other hand” conundrum to blossom.

I know that there are a whole bunch of  folks out there that are welcoming the ‘big brother’ take over of the cars we drive with open arms. Well, actually their arms are not really open, they are full of all of the electronic gadgets they are playing with as they careen down our highways and byways. Texting, chattering, preening for cameras, whacking off to internet porn, anything but that icky chore of actually DRIVING their fucking car! And the car companies are working hard to oblige those folks…and of course…as is always the case, dragging the rest of us along for the ‘ride’,whether we want to go or not.  We are in the beginning stages of cars that will be driving themselves before too long. One of the keys to this is knowing precisely  where the particular vehicle is, and that is where the GPS system comes in.  Once the stuff of fantasy and adventure movies, this military based technology is finding itself into fleets of cars as standard equipment. And that means no, you will not have a choice to say “thanks, but no, I don’t want my car controlled by a distant computer, our location monitored down to the fraction of a foot, every jab of the throttle, touch of the brake recorded for who knows what reason, vital vehicle  functions out of my control in the hands of….well….the voice in the dash.   No, I do not want a voice to come on saying “help is on the way”, when I have run into a dumpster someplace. Call me old school if you must, but I enjoy what used to be personal solitude when driving, and this is being stripped away from us in the guise of “this is sooooo helpful, and sooo politically correct, you must have this.”

“But on the other hand………..”, there is the subject of police chases. I cannot think of something  that is more ingrained into the social network yet is more useless and dangerous than lumbering four door police  cars, driven by testosterone fueled cops careening thru the streets, running stop signs, smashing into everything (and anyone)  in their path, pursuing a fleeing vehicle, the driver having done…..? Maybe has a loose license plate. That was the reason for a police chase that killed 4 people a few years ago in Texas.  A carload of teenage kids, 6 of them, were killed when their car rolled down an embankment after a high speed chase in upstate NY. Their crime? “We don’t know why they ran”, explained the chief at a news conference. “There were no drugs found, none of them had been drinking, there were no warrants,  and the car was owned by the driver’s parents. They must have fled for the thrill of the chase” The thrill of the chase. That’s the reason that society gives as justification for snuffing out 6 young lives???  A 75 year old Grandmother was killed  when a cop flew thru the intersection at over 100 mph chasing a motorcycle for gods sake, smashed into another car, flipped thru the air and landed upside down on top of the mother and grandmother as she sat  at a bus bench.  This is fucking bullshit.  I could write all day for days, these things happen over and over again. The cops line is always the same “we’re just doing our job, we don’t know what the warrant is, you are supposed to obey an officer, yadda yadda”. Well, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!! There is no place in society for this nonsense!

So now we have the one armed man striding into the fray. Because “on the one hand”, our cars are being taken away from us personally and handed over to society in general. Ultimately, we are losing control of them, and it’s happening sooner rather than later. But “on the other hand”, the entire concept of the police chase, is about to join our gramophones, 33 albums, 8 track tape machines, Pak Man, IBM 360′s, etc as quaint relics of bygone times. Because as the GM On-Star commercials show, and as facts on the ground are demonstrating, these modern, computer controlled cars can be instantly disabled  by a few strokes on the keyboard, thereby rendering the carnage of the car chase a moot point. So we lose our personal privacy, yet gain safety……didn’t Ben Franklin say something about this?

Living in pain, and that would be extreme pain, is something that no-one should have to endure, and thankfully very few of us have to live with something like this.  Unfortunately, my closest soul-mate and friend  had to do just that recently. Because he is cantankerous and very stubborn, he was in total denial about needing a hip replacement. A series of completely incompetent doctors incapable of properly reading and interpreting a new fangled thing called an X-Ray did not help metters . The above-mentioned quacks also refused to prescribe anything to relieve pain that actually, well, relieved pain, rationing out liver eating Darvocet   as if they were doing  him a huge favor. The bottom line was that by the time it was finally determined beyond any doubt that he had an extremely arthritic hip and surgery was finally scheduled about 6 weeks later, the pain was unbearable.

So, like many others, he went to one of the pain clinics, the ones that grandstanding attention grabbing clowns masquerading as   journalists love to send undercover cameras into. There he received a script for Oxycontin, 10 mg four times a day, which soon turned into 20 mg four times a day. that’s what it took so that he could semi function. After 30 days he went back again, and then received 40 mg pills to take twice a day. That held him until the surgery, and allowed him to recover afterwords.  This drug does as advertised, it kills pain, that is the bottom line. No muss, no fuss, for folks who have horrible pain, that does not end, this makes it go away, without destroying the liver and other body parts in the process.

But with this particular staple of society,  “on the other hand” is not far away either. My guy found this out when he said “ok, now I’ll quit”. This is a man who quit cigarettes cold turkey from 4 packs a day. No patch, no crutch, no nothing.  Who quit drinking with no help, no AA, no Jesus, nothing but an iron will. So what could possibly be the big deal stopping something that was started less than two months ago, right? Well after 10 hours of wretching, dry heaves, blood pressure spiking, unable to breathe at times and going into convolutions, he discovered yet another dark side to this synthetic monster invented to “assist” heroin addicts in kicking that habit. Along with the being impossible to sleep without massive doses of sleeping pills. Terrible anxiety attacks. Feeling that you are drowning at times. Oh, and if you just quit taking it? You well might die. It took him another trip to the pain doctor for a series of lower doses,  and an additional  month to finally be rid of this terrible monkey. If you were to do something as simple as grind up one of the time release pills, you will most probably either end up in the emergency room not breathing, or on a slab in the morgue. To stay on the founding father’s theme, this drug perfectly fits the description George Washington said of government “Government is like fire, a feared servant and a terrible Master.” But…..when you have unbearable pain, yet are not a terminal cancer patient,  this is where you will end up, there is not much other choice. It’s a classic “On the one hand…….. but  yet on the other hand”.

And it’s not necessarily about choices, either. Sooner or later, most everyone will be in a car who’s location will be exactly pinpointed 24/7. Any deviation from the norm will trigger a response from the “safety net”, you will not have a choice. But 16 year old kids will not have their brains splattered onto the steering wheel because they showed their age by fleeing authority at 3 am. Of course, no more slow speed OJ chase scenes, but we can live without that.

And if something unfortunate befalls us and we need something to make life bearable and livable again, we need to be able to make that choice. Yes it’s unfortunate if someone’s son or daughter abuses a drug, but that should not mean that who knows how many should suffer because of bad parenting. We all deal with that one armed man masquerading as conundrums all the time, life is about choices and chance, and not a whole hell of a lot else, when you come right down to it!

More bad news today, and that’s besides the housing market getting worse, not to mention  the apparent fact that screwball Rush Limbaugh is not going to move to Costa Rica as he threatened to do if the unwashed masses (aka you and me) got access to something resembling decent health care, the latest affront somehow seemed personal in some way way.  While things like this can have a good ending, it looks like Dennis Hopper is dying of cancer. Continue reading “Dennis Hopper is dying of cancer, business as usual” »

I’m going to be getting some new video footage today as well as doing my weekly cam show this afternoon and I’m REALLY looking forward to this one, folks. Wait til you see the size of this guy’s cock:) It really is as big around as a beer can, I shit you not. I met this guy at my last gangbang, him and I hit it off quite well. I’ve asked him to help me out with some things and I’m quite gratified he said “hell yeah”. I’ll be sure and keep you posted…. Bye for now